i don’t fully know why

but i’m really having a hard time believing that h-town &; jodeci really made a song together.
even though there’s videographic proof. ::sigh::

in no particular order, i blame the following for this shit here: trey songz, crack rocks, the death of gerald levert, the recession, waffle house, spectacular smith of pretty ricky, bad weed, the prison industrial complex, reaganomics (why the fuck NOT? that’s where crack rocks came from!), autotune, charlie wilson’s comeback (because these fools forgot that they weren’t ever on his level), jahiem (yeah, i said it), the good black man shortage myth, zane, malt liquor, crown fried chicken, fruity loops, & motherfucking blackplanet dot com. i would sue for damages, but as a black woman in america, i’ve learned that my complaints are usually only heard by those who give a damn to begin with. that’d be YOU, blog reader(s). all twelve of you.

& while we’re on former 90’s r&b starruhs, let’s take a gander at what aaron hall is doin w/ himself these days, shall we?

who dresses in their easter best to whisper to dogs?
is he using this $ to buy more suits?
note that there are no black folks letting this man into their homes. why? cuz we KNOW about aaron hall’s fool ass already!
his german sounds like his vietnamese sounds like his farsi sounds like his spanish. i’m just sayin.

now i have to watch coming to america to cleanse my mind. i hope it works.

full moon gratitude.

late, but i’m doing it anyway:

water
the healing properties of tears
government employees who do their jobs
potluck dinners
fat babies
donny hathaway
aretha franklin
fresh guacamole
books
library cards
cupcakes
hand holding

you can’t stop my go!

so, i love mos def’s “casa bey” to pieces. in this clip below, mos breaks down the meaning of the song to him:

& here’s the song itself, probably one of my top 5 mos songs ever.

full moon gratitude.

free concert tickets
mediterranean food
cuties who give great hugs
quality couch time w/ good friends
yuengling lager
old friends
new friends
the healing properties of tears
revolutionary love
free laundry
purple nail polish
gold nail polish
sugar scrub
anti-histamines
& the music of fertile ground.

welcome to soulville!

this isn’t just some party. it’s an experience.

you should be here.

you should be here.

all vinyl. all good. great atmosphere, soul food kitchen, & toodopegirls will be in the place. do the electric slide with us, if the need arises. buy a drank or two. show some love.
it’s real simple.  come through!

black music friday! part two.

today’s theme: live performances.

I LOVE FERTILE GROUND. period. point blank. one of the best live shows you’ll ever, ever, ever see in your LIFE.

fertile ground, “be natural”

i really had to struggle with finding just one clip of the roots. “water” is one of my most favorite songs of theirs & i’ve not had the pleasure of seeing them do this live more than twice, so this is a real pleasure to see. probably your favorite band’s favorite band. these men work hard as shit. philly. always.

faith evans, “come over”. her first album is still a banger. get familiar. (the video is bad, the audio is not great, but still!!!)

really random. chaka khan & kelly price, singing “through the fire.” again, lots of clips of chaka to choose from. & i love kelly’s voice too much not to share. awesome.

ledisi!!! “in the morning”. crushing the game. killing you hoes. & not softly, either.

lizz wright. “walk with me, lord”. LOVE. HER.

also, ms. wright sings “salt”. this is the jam.

i could go on forever. but, clearly, i’ve gone forth & gotten really excited. lol. enjoy your friday! may the music move you in a good direction.

it’s black music month!

so, every friday in june i’ll be sharing some musical goodness with y’all.

philly style:

jazmine sullivan, “in love with another man”

boyz ii men, “please don’t go”

patti labelle, “you’ll never walk alone”

bunny sigler, “keep smilin'”

triggered. like a motherfucker.

my identity as a queer woman is hard-won.  through years of vascillation, denial, secrecy, and srategic planning dedicated to hiding myself from myself i am now working at being authentically myself. and a big part of that is being forthright with any potential lovers about my sexuality.  there is no introduction that goes, “i’m sparkle, and i’m bisexual”.  but there’s also no soap opera (or jenny jones) moment when i spring it on futureboo or presentboo in a space that she or he might find uncomfortable.  because that’s not how you treat folks.  my honesty has most likely cost me a relationship or three.  and i’m okay with that.  nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel stifled instead of feeling edified.  so, it is with that knowledge i walk.  it’s not an easy walk: there are folks who don’t recognize my sexuality as legitimate compared to their own, there are folks who presume that i’m unaware of what i want in life (or in my bed), and there are also folks who believe that my queerness makes me impossible of being monogamous.

it is this completely erroneous belief/ assumption that makes me impossibly pissed off.  and it is this idea that made me want to write this blog post, because of a song called “think my girl (ay, ay)” by omarion.  this song gives what might be considered an inside view of a relationship between the narrator (whom i presume to be a hetero-identified person whose sex assignment at birth was male, who identifies as male/ man) and his girlfriend, whose behavior implies that she may be cheating on him with a female associate of hers.  this woman does not answer her phone when she’s with this friend, referred to as “the girl that doesn’t have a man” in the lyrics to the first verse. (you can listen for yourselves here, dear readers; i refuse to transcribe this shit.)  the hook of this song goes on to express that though the girlfriend is very physically affectionate with the narrator her behavior changes when around this friend of hers, has a better eye for attractive women than her paramour, and also presumes that the narrator is welcome in the bedroom with the girlfriend and whomever she’s cheating on him with.  the second verse includes some information about the narrator’s girlfriend and her friend having matching tattoos, and some “secret conversations” between the two women.

what bothers and upsets me is the fact that this song is a bunch of stereotypes and assumptions wrapped into one neat little sonic package.  this song is a symptom of the problem — it’s giving me hives when goddess knows i am allergic to bullshit.  this song neatly lists (for me, anyway) what seem to be the predominant, erroneous, widely held beliefs about bisexual women.

i have to acknowledge that  heterosexual privilege allows this song to exist.  heterosexual privilege allows the demonization of anyone who does not exemplify compulsory heterosexuality.

the narrator’s girlfriend is acting suspiciously (in his opinion, or per his explanation as narrator).  since there’s another woman involved in this (as either a friend or lover, possibly both), it’s implied that the girlfriend’s behavior can be attributed specifically to a sexual relationship with this other woman. so, this makes her hot-in-the-ass and unfaithful.  this also demonizes the presumed other woman; she’s got some kind of a stranglehold on the girlfriend’s mind, via sex. there’s no suggestion that the girlfriend is keeping company with this woman who “doesn’t have a man” because she’s sick. or because she’s got kids she needs help with. or an ailing relative. or something that is not about sex.  (could it be that only women sing/ write songs that discuss concern for other women? see: eve’s “love is blind”, destiny’s child’s “girl”, or the jazzyfatnastees’ “how sad”. i don’t think that this is the case, but i’m just asking.) let’s examine this: not answering the phone within an hour (verse 1), a friend with no man who’s often around (probably cuz she hasn’t got a man to keep her company), a knack for identifying a beautiful woman before her man does, and limited PDA when said manless friend is around — she’s just got to be cheating with this manless friend!  am i the only one who thinks this is rather base?  furthermore, bisexuality does not exclude any human being (male or female, cisgender or transgender) from monogamy! emotional immaturity may exclude one from being faithful to their partner.  (polyamory is not a condition of being bisexual, either. but let’s not talk about that right now.)

the idea that the narrator should try having an openly bisexual girlfriend implies that she’s open to having a threesome, which is also not a fact of bisexuality.  there are some bisexual folks who are not in any way interested in group sex.  this is also incredibly troublesome, as it feeds into the idea that the hetero man’s job is to conquer vaginae far and wide, that the sexuality is not valid if he’s not (a) involved or (b) giving approval to the sexual relationship.  hello: i’m autonomy, and i believe that i only need the person who utilizes me in order to be valid or legitimate. your dick hasn’t got anything to do with it, narrator (or anyone else).  that’s hetero privilege for you: you can do what you want, cuz there’s nothing “wrong” with the kind of sex you’re into.

bottom line, this song is offensive for a number of reasons.  ultimately, it turns a woman’s body into product, into object, into a commodity to be fetishized.  it takes away her humanity and reduces her autonomy to a jezebel’s supposed nature.  and no,  a pop song should not have the final say on how we as a larger society view sexuality. but, art often imitates life.  somebody, somewhere may think of this song and either identify with it on some level or forming opinions based on it.

of course, there are ideas that aren’t addressed in the lyrics of  “think my girl (ay, ay)”.  there’s nothing quite like the limited attitudes of some folks in the GLBTQ community to make a woman like myself feel even more boxed in.  there’s the idea that we are nasty, the flat-out lie that we are incapable of loving one person at a time, and most of all there’s the simple misconception that we are who we are because we’re hot in the ass.  not all of us are.  there are polyamorous heterosexual and homosexual people.  there are people who sabotage relationships by cheating, but that has nothing to do with their sexuality.  that’s an issue of emotional maturity, in my opinion.

some music, to lift our spirits.

the abundance mixtape by ppp (you may know them as platinum pied pipers). 

if you’re a fan of dilla, slum village, or any of the bling 47 stuff, you’re undoubtedly going to love this mixtape.
enjoy!

because i’m in a pep-talky mood.

jill scott, “sweet justice”

probably my favorite jill song. good for those days when you really do need to get your ass up & out, when you really need to motivate yourself, when it seems like whatever you’re doing is going to kill you instead of making you stronger, etc.

sweet justice
climb the mountain
though your hands may be weary
swim the ocean
though your legs may be tired
run the extra mile
though your stride may be worn down
fight, fight, fight, fight
never surrender

sweet justice

many sides to the same face
searching, wanting their hour
so many colors in the spectrum of life
with right lies the power
struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle
struggle only makes a man stronger
if he believes within his heart then he can find it
he will find it

sweet justice
sweet justice

freedom, the epitome of life
lay your down your burden, soldier
study, study war no more, no more
trust the soul that thrives within you
hold strong to your faith
continue, continue, continue on, on

sweet justice
sweet justice
sweet justice
sweet justice

sonic crack.

this is all nezua’s fault. there. i said it. IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, MAN! i’d shake an angry fist at you but i’m too.busy.dancing.must.stop.dancing.CANNOT.STOP.DANCING.

shit.

i can’t get this song out of my head. i will be dancing to this whenever i get married to whomever is perfect enough to want to wake up to this very song at least once a week (and me, but the song is just as important) . . . holy shit.
i love it.
turn it up LOUD if you’re not at work. or if you have headphones. hell, just turn it up anyway. chair dance, cubicle refugees!
prepare yourself to fall fully in love with the synth of it all.

*ahem*

the knife, “you take my breath away”

(and homegirl on the right? her makeup is killing it. don’t think i won’t do some shit like that. cuz i will.)

friday links:

youtube is gonna be the death of me.

feist on sesame street (feist + puppets = awesome):

stevie wonder on sesame street (even MORE awesome):

1

2

jill scott, “gimme”

the enbedding was disabled, so go here. LOVE this song.

now i’m off to prepare for a debate drinking game thought of by mos def’s other other wife, lauren.

file this one under f.

for massive fail as well as fuckery deluxe.

no.

nkotb & new edition? i quit. just cuz they’re from boston and maurice starr managed them, it doesn’t mean this shit needed to happen. it’s painful. noooooooo, lawd, WHY?

& now, for a little around-the-way shit:

new favorite:

. . . i’m going to bed now. carry on, children.

another music meme

i wasn’t tagged. i saw it on someone else’s blog & decided to do it.

Rules:
1. Put your itunes/music player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
“when we were friends,” cee-lo

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“i’m out!!!,” kissey asplund

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“driving me wild (f/ lily allen),” common

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“summer love (f/ nicky guiland),” shuya okino

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“my same,” adele

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“fear not of man,” mos def (it kinda is. see here.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“floatin,” stacy epps

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
“barry bonds (f/ lil wayne),” kanye west

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“sesame street,” goodie mob

WHAT IS 2+2?
“i (mikey) rock,” the cool kids

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“. . . & on,” erykah badu

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“doghouse,” bugz in the attic

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“singing man,” the roots

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“o.g. bitch (speakeasy mix),” esthero

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“ebony eyes,” stevie wonder

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“delirium (morgan geist tongues remix),” owusu & hannibal

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“climb (f/ vinia mojica [WHERE IS HER SOLO ALBUM ALREADY?]),” mos def

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“cool world,” georgia ann muldrow

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“joy inside my tears,” stevie wonder

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“talk to me,” anita baker

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“e.t. (extraterrestrial),” outkast

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
“get closer,” ben westbeech

i tag teeteezie, omi, morgan, michael, courtney, and as a bonus i tag bill.
not like bill reads this blog. some friend you are.

if you didn’t already know:

i’m a bit of an angela bofill fan. maybe a fanatic at some point. i’ve posted about her before. but peep THIS. angie & the late phyllis hyman. trust me, you’ll never see anything like this from knowles & any of her contemporaries. or maybe you will. it looks like both ladies have on tina knowles specials in this video.

oooh, he can get it.

well, shit, he can.

check the rhyme: john legend, “green light (featuring andre 3000)”

a musical meme

(aj, you’d BETTER answer this shit)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits:

owusu & hannibal, “upstairs downstairs”
word.

Waking Up:
mos def, “mr. nigga”
um, yeah. i guess that’ll work.

First Day At School:
hope, “bring me flowers”
errrrm . . . aight.

Falling In Love:
outkast, “millenium”
me & everything around me/ is unstable like chernobyl . . . yeah.

Fight Song:
kissey asplund, “with you”
makes NO sense whatsoever.

Breaking Up:
muhsinah, “reconstruct”
YES. finally something that makes sense.

Prom:
j*davey, “valley of love”
if i graduated in 1988 and not 1998 maybe it’d fit.

Life:
cee-lo, “bass head jazz”
my life is never this chill. ever. but maybe that’s what i’m headed into?

Mental Breakdown:
bilal, “slyde”
of course it’d be a bilal song. insert ignorant gossipy remark here.

Driving:
the roots, “the lesson pt. 1”
it fits. whaddaya know?

Flashback:
andre 3000, “chronomentrophobia”
the fear of clocks/ the fear of time. yeah. kinda works.

Getting Back Together:
the roots, “the next movement”
the title works. the song itself doesn’t, unless i’m cutting a rug w/ said former boo to this song. and i doubt i would be.

Wedding:
muhsinah, “gogh”
the refrain says “let’s go again” so maybe this works? am i even getting married?

Birth of Child:
candido, “serenade to a savage”
hey, nobody said it was the birth of MY child!

Final Battle:
esperanza spalding, “ponta de areia”
makes.zero.sense.

Death Scene:
res, “how i do”
this shit has zero rhyme or reason, but it totally fits.

Funeral Song:
dwele, “blow your mind”
well, i always did say i wanted motherfuckers to celebrate @ my “homegoing” service.

End Credits:
outkast, “so fresh, so clean”
fuck and yes.

i love this video.

devendra banhart gives me the willies, but:

the video’s concept is kinda fresh.
the song doesn’t suck asscakes.
and for once, it appears that mr. banhart has taken a bath. well, knock me down with a feather.

LOVE the show of kali, as well.

an oldie but goodie

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