dear blog readers:

(all 4 of you)

i have a question:

is there EVER a good time to answer a cheesy text message that’s a not-so-thinly veiled come-on?

i’m not gonna go into detail. please humor me in the comments with some kind of answer. thanks!

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if you know and/ or love me


you probably know my birthday is coming up this sunday, october 7.
if you are able to or interested in gifting me, i’m into the following items/ concepts:

loose leaf & other fancypants teas (i.e. tazo, yogi, revolution, mighty leaf, stash)
inexpensive, yet tasty wine. i’m partial to petals, gerwurztraminer, riesling, & pinot noir. & don’t forget that fu-ki plum! good god.
music!!! i still don’t have the new talib kweli. & i *heart* vinyl. i need angela bofill, as much stevie as possible (i have hotter than july & songs in the key of life already)… old soul records are a plus. anything by the police on vinyl is also a major plus. i might mess around & marry you behind that. ;)
gift certificates to whole foods or trader joe’s
socks in interesting or bizarre color combinations
PENS!!! nice fancy ballpoints.
anything from duross & langel
supplies from coastalscents.com
massages
quirky, unique pieces of art that i can keep in my home (see: joshua mays)
houseplants — preferably succulents, like jade or aloe (they’re hard to kill. lmao.)
daffy’s or old navy gift cards
jewelry. god, do i love earrings. you can make or buy those, it matters not.
peacock feathers
acrylic or cotton yarn in pretty colors
INCENSE. nag champa, honey, cinnamon, the moon, triple amber (i can’t find it anywhere), red rose… i love incense
7 day candles. preferably orisa candles. ;)

i won’t go on any more about what would be good gifts. these are just ideas if you wanna give me something & don’t know what to give.


um… otherwise, get the glitter & construction paper out
prepare your vocal chords for singing
get the thumbs ready for texting
draft your emails now
generally, just get ready to help me celebrate myself. this is the one day a year when i’m “supposed to” be fully self-indulgent & into my own desire to the point of distraction. but a big part of that involves YOU, dear friend. kick it w/ me. come act silly.

email: sechita(at)gmail(dot)com (you can find my paypal that way, as well as my amazon wishlist)

xoxoxo

so i finally got some big ass sunglasses.

excitement!!!

that meant i had to play around w/ the camera phone. y’all know me.

^ wasting my life force, waiting for the a train after brunch w/ atlanta

my hair was on its own that morning. lmao. but the glasses are fly to me. forever 21 is really the spot. ;)

oh, jill.

jill, jill, jill. i feel this song fully.

i’ve been there. with more than one paramour, quite honestly. it seems like they all end up the same way, too.
we split up for whatever reason(s), you get somebody new, i get somebody new . . . we both live our lives, & may even still be really good friends. but i know deep down inside that i feel like i’m not finished, that you’re not finished. not so much a regret that we split — when something isn’t working, it’s just plain not working — but something like a deep want to try again. i’ll ignore it, because you’ve got someone else you’re kicking it with (you’re not wasting any kind of time, since you don’t want the chance to miss me) & i’m doing whatever i’m doing . . . i won’t let myself regret you. i won’t convince myself that i should apologize profusely & call you up trying to see if there might be a way back in. this is primarily because i can’t handle the idea of being rebuffed when i want to be desired & refuse to try too hard at anything i’m prone to suck at. i’m prideful that way. i’m trouble that way. & she isn’t. that’s why you like her so much — she doesn’t challenge you to be a better person, quite honestly. she’d never encourage you to reach for everything you’ve ever wanted — because you’re all she’s ever wanted. a daddy, financier & lover all in one. you have the bankroll for her to hit target without flinching — note, i said her, because she’s never considerate of your money situation. it only matters when she has to pay. you don’t think i know she sees you as an open wallet/ bank account/ whatever, even though you essentially make the same amount of money she does? you don’t think i’ve noticed all these things when you talk about her to me the way you would one of your homeboys?
but you’ll allow it, because it’s easier than being alone. because it’s easier than trying to get back to what you know was harder to keep, but more worth your time.
& maybe that’s why i let go, too. because i’m too comfortable running shit & it’s not even about control issues — the only issue i have is that i wanna be in control. period. when i’m not at the helm, it’s only because i let you be. i think that you enjoyed that as much as i am accustomed to it.
so now here i am, after the fact, wondering why the fuck i even care.
because i love you. & in the back of my head, i imagine where we’d be had we stuck it out or reloaded the whole thing. if we’d said “let’s try one more time,” & said yes to a do-over. i wonder if you would have taken my hand, had i extended it.
i don’t live w/ regrets or guilt, but the what-ifs surely can be a beast.

messin w/ the camera phone again


i dunno
i was bored
& honestly, i was avoiding doing laundry (note the crumpled dress under my head, next to the pillow)

my hair looks like kiwi fuzz. lmao. i need either a haircut or some serious dedication to growing my ‘fro out. at the moment i’m considering hollering at the malian sisters who braid hair in my neighborhood. i think i could bring back the kanekalon or body wave 10 inch for a few months. maybe. i’m not patient enough to sit for microbraids anymore. lol.

untitled & unfinished

holding my tongue
holding my breath
tryna hold my head above the tides of tears
my foremothers wept
through osmosis i
learn the way they held it together in public
then fell apart in private
in sinks full of dishes
tubs overflowing w/ babies
they let the saline drop

(this isn’t finished, i’ll be back for it)

playin around w/ my camera phone

i have a samsung sync (gh-a707), & one of the best things about my phone is allllll the wild shit i can do w/ the camera. i can do more than one shooting mode, there’s a timer, & even visual effects like sepia tone, b & w, & (my favorite) the negative. i’m currently loving the hell out of the mosaic effect:

LOVE.

i’ll be back w/ more cell phone antics.

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