i love | i need | i want

i love:
cardigans. long ones, short ones, shawl cardigans, boyfriend cardigans . . . it matters not. i love them. nothing says “funky librarian” the way a cardigan does! especially in colors i love.

sweaters galore!
sweaters galore! by dopegirlfresh featuring Old Navy

i need: tights!

tights!
tights! by dopegirlfresh featuring We Love Colors tights

i want: a badass, too big, super sparkly necklace. something w/ too many fucking sequins, and maybe some rhinestones. like either of these from anthropologie.

(i linked them because — surprise — wordpress is not allowing me to be great. whatever.)

i love | i need | i want

it’s kind of been forever since my last post like this. so, here i am.  something i love, something i need, something i want.  heeere we go:

love:

like, yum. seriously.

like, yum. seriously.

indian food. channa, dal, basmati rice (with cumin!), chicken tikka masala, tandoori naan, roti, pakoras, samosas . . . dude. dude. DUDE. chicken vindaloo? biryani? i can’t live without the stuff. it’s going to be my undoing someday. especially with two indian restaurants within a 5 minute walk of my place.

need:
(there is no photograph to illustrate what i need.)

a particular itch scratched. i need some really good, gold foil, can’t speak in coherent sentences afterwards, sweating like a preacher during tent revival, let me make you meals between sessions sex. the kind that makes my neighbors think something real crazy is going on in my apartment, cuz all they hear is grownup noises & all they smell is bacon & waffles & shit being made. it’s so crucial. my toys cannot keep up. sending telepathic beams to the object of my desire right now. i need you to work me out again, sweets. like, over the course of 24 hours. please?

want:

(it seems that wordpress is being a ho about photo links right now. maybe i just need to go the fuck to sleep?)

a custom made dress from fly tie. somewhere between this maxi dress & this hooded dress.  really.  her blog is ill (see the first link), but her shop will take your breath away!

she’s a real sweet gal. you should check her out.

shoes.

in particular, these:

in gold as well as in black.

$74 and some change for both pair!
i stalked them on the interwebs, i got them off the interwebs, and will have them by the end of next week. this solves the problem i’ve been having, which is knowing what to wear w/ brown pants (i had been wearing birkenstocks, and not rocking brown slacks at all in this heat) as well as knowing wtf to do when my favorite bare traps wedge sandals finally kick the bucket, which they are definitely about to do.

this is part of my “learning to walk better in tall shoes” movement. you see, blog readers (all 4 of you), i’m pretty graceful barefoot but i can’t say i’ve got the suaveness necessary to glide about in heels or taller-than-tall wedges. so i’m gonna practice. i have two pair of kickass winter-friendly suede heels that i must say i got good at traipsing around in before the weather broke. but i need to feel legitimately confident in what i wear. hence the summer clearance footwear. i’m tryin.

and maybe, just maybe i can pull these joints off once and for all…

shouts to laetiçia for the inspiration.

sneaker lust, 2008. part one.

the puma hooper mid decade.



holy god.
someone find them in a boys’ 7 or men’s 7.5 for me.
please.
please?
thank you i love you i SWEAR i’ll massage your scalp…

okay. i think i found the right ones.

the right shoes.
i need the right dress/ skirt & top combo.

behold the greatness:

they aren’t cheap. they aren’t crazy expensive, either. they’re definitely my idea of a conversation piece . . . cuz heaven knows my ass doesn’t plan to go very far in them. heh.

i suppose that if you’re gonna do fuckme pumps, you’d best be doing it all the way. i am. i will. in black and in red patent.

i love me some damn leg warmers.

i mean, like . . . they are so effing great! & in the winter when i feel like rocking a skirt, they save my calves every time. behold:

(those are also my favorite sneakers. pink & black tweed nike blazers)

the purple ones i LOVE, too:

don’t hate. it’s futile.

my personal style is evolving.

big earrings & shawls are a given.
but now i’m realizing what kind of denim i like, what fits best, etc.

& we aren’t gonna talk about my footwear situation. i don’t like buying expensive ass shoes, but my feet/ posture require them. ergonomically sound shoes for work aren’t cheap. the heels i do like? not cheap. sneakers that don’t make my feet cry out in cramping? not cheap at all.

so i guess i’d better hustle this money up, right? lol. i was doing some figuring. there’s not one single pair of shoes or sneakers i’ve been checking out that cost less than seventy dollars. i remember back in the days of parade of shoes (remember them?), i was racking up on stuff i could wear to work. now, it’s like earth or dansko… or nothing. i hate that, kinda. naturalizer isn’t cheap. new balance? not cheap. & let’s not discuss my love of nikes, which has resurfaced just as i’m too busy paying bills to cop a new pair every paycheck. this is annoying, at best.

i went to lane bryant the other day, tryna find some jeans. first of all, these motherfuckers are charging $50++ for polyester tunics. since when is that okay? second, what’s the deal w/ everything having a stupid permanent cuff or crease? can i just get some regular straight leg average-length dark fucking denim? something that isn’t uber super show-the-crack-of-my-ass low rise? & maybe, just maybe, are there wide-legged dress pants that don’t have a full-on natural waist? i’ve got a short torso. that shit doesn’t look right on me. gah.

if i had a sewing machine & enough time, i swear . . .

sometimes it seems that my style is being guided by the companies that make the clothes. i love old navy’s more grownup looking clothing; they stopped selling it in stores so i’m forced to do my shopping inside. whomever decided to remove the plus sizes from the stores is pretty much an idiot. there are plenty women who’ve not been able to try on the plus sized clothes simply because there was a 2 year (or more) test period where only certain stores carried these items. if you aren’t generally certain how the clothes fit you, how on earth are you gonna feel comfortable/ confident buying the shit online? i’m hoping to turn to more indie designers, or smaller apparel companies in the future. right now, though, i feel bound by my amount of disposable income in addition to the dress code at my job. it isn’t terribly strict, but some things aren’t okay.

but, as my personal style evolves, i’m better able to make smart choices. i know where to find the $10 jeans at ross and the cleverly hidden perry ellis trench coats at burlington. ;)

bargain fashionistas, stand up! i know it’s not right — someone probably lost their finger trying to make the anorak i just bought — but until i find better quality plus clothes in the thrift stores i frequent, & until i start making my own clothes, this is how it’s gonna be.

so i finally got some big ass sunglasses.

excitement!!!

that meant i had to play around w/ the camera phone. y’all know me.

^ wasting my life force, waiting for the a train after brunch w/ atlanta

my hair was on its own that morning. lmao. but the glasses are fly to me. forever 21 is really the spot. ;)

vamp.

i’ve never been one to do a lot of red. i always thought big girls ought not rock colors that bright; i always used to want to be left alone, to my own devices & business without drawing attn to myself. i already stood out physically. why add to it?
then one day when i was in high school my grandmother, mother & i were in the jc penney outlet. & there was this shirt i wanted. i loved it. i wanted it in navy, but it only came in red. with simple white piping around the collar. my concession, since momzie & mommy thought it looked so nice was, well, to get it in a 3x (just for the record, no part of my body has ever been a 3x ANYTHING, even at my heaviest). so i had this tent-like shirt. it was part of my “going away to college” arsenal. so, i only wore it when everything else was dirty. because it was red. & my simple ass didn’t realize that more fabric = bigger clothing = more attention.

as i’ve aged, i have more or less stayed away from brights. red, green . . . as accent colors only. i have print clothing that tends to be on the docile side (w/ the exception of a cocktail dress here & there). . . & the only bright i ever really stuck with was bright pink.

then i found out that i’m omo sango. his colors are red + white. when olaomi told me that i was like “dangit. that means i’ma HAVE to wear red at some point or another. i don’t do red.” i kinda panicked. red hair is one thing (auburn is my summer color of choice), but red clothing? eh . . .

but i’m getting better. tryna grow into who i am. baba’s got me. yeye & my ancestors have got me. most importantly, my ori is doin its thing. i even own a red dress(!!!)

at 26, my first red manicure. hmm. i kinda like it.

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somma y’all need

to hire your girl as a stylist.

see, i was online bustin it up w/ my good buddy fredara the great & she was like, “i gotta figure out what to wear to this wedding.” so, being who i am, i asked her what color she wanted, & if she was into tea length dresses/ skirts.

next thing i know, i’m on anthropologie.com ogling this lil beauty.
then i decided that she needed some peacock feather accessories from j. jewels, a gold clutch & gold shoes. fortunately for me, that’s just what fredara was thinking about.

but the point is, i think i could really pull the stylist thing off
not because i’m more fashionable than anyone else, or because i’ve got more swagger or anything like that.

but because i pay attention to folks. everyone likes to be accomodated. but let me not give away my secrets. cuz i’m tryna make some money while shopping for others.

gratitude #5


sagacious friends & associates

always-on-time direct deposit

bare traps brand footwear

dennis

fiscal year pay increases

my own ingenuity

long standing friendships

glaceau & their wonderful beverages

j. jewels

the proximity of philadelphia to new york, dc, baltimore, & the jersey shore

gauchos

j*davey

water

honey

cayenne pepper

my sistren who hold me up when my legs won’t do the job

ross, the mecca of reduced-price shopping

dusty record crates

idiocracy

jill scott

blueberries

honey peanut butter

mama sunnie

back rubs

grace

nivea creme

summer street festivals/ cultural events

beans n rice

manicures & pedicures

reversible anything

loop nyc/ parcel bags

shimmery hot pink nail polish

aleve

jersey knit bed linens

hands that like to touch me

sunshine

breezes

my womb

tension tamer tea

ginger

oludumare mi

yeye mi

baba mi

egungun mi, known & unknown

the deep awo of my own abilities

babies

knowing when to back off

eric roberson

giant trash bags

clean towels

drop-off service @ the laundromat

knowing my own pace

. . . my blessings do not come from this job. they come from the goodness i create around myself.

i am thankful every day. i will demonstrate my gratitude at every given opportunity. ashé.

i love | i need | i want

#2

love:

trader joe’s macaroni & cheese. yes, i am dairy sensitive & bordering on intolerant (HI, BILL!). no, it’s not healthy to eat a whole tray of this shit. but i’m pmsing, and i’ve been really good about my dairy/ starch intake lately. my secret weapon: a sprinkle of garlic powder on it before i mix it up. good god. most creamy, coma-inducing food to yet come out of the crackhouse that my good buddy jill refers to simply as “the joe’s.” just . . . don’t get mad at me if you start tweakin off tj’s mac & cheese, okay? all i can do for you is offer to eat the macaroni to allow you the chance to recover.

need:



new balance wr873s.
i need new workout (running/ walking/ traipsing through nyc or philly) kicks. i genuinely believe that these are the ones i need most of all. aside from the fact that the colors are kickass, these’ll do everything i need them to. i’m gonna be outdoors mostly, not on a treadmill or elliptical . . . & to top it all off, they’re blue and coral. what’s fuckin w/ that? honestly. my alternate pair: the w809. but them shits aren’t as fashion-forward color wise. lol.

want:

a new dress, or three. these are my top choices (right now, because i haven’t seen what old navy’s got), from alight.com. i want to have enough dresses in my wardrobe that even in the dead of winter, i’m straight stylin on motherfuckers. besides, any one of these would go damn well w/ the naturalizer kingsleys from last week’s love | need | want post. even though the first dress needs an emergency ugly belt-ectomy. i’ll find some fabric for that lil thang SO quick . . . plus #18 on my 43things list says very clearly that i want to buy a new sexy bitch dress.

my new e-crush

is heather armstrong, of dooce.com. she is hilarious & sounds like someone i’d love to sit down and talk shit with over a cup of something intoxicating. i found the link on atlanta’s blog. i giggled heartily at heather’s biography & find her writing style to be overall enjoyable. cute. snarky. not unlike myself.

i was gonna spend some time bitching about how my whole outfit today (minus the undies) is from damn old navy. because there’s one right near my job & they have the ill clearance rack AND plus-sized clothes that don’t look supercheap, matronly, or otherwise bad on me. even though their shit is cut funny, i have a good time overall w/ my sweatshop threads from that place. then i was gonna start bitching about how they’re moving all the plus-sized clothes to the online store and no longer carrying them shits in-store. that is depressing, insulting, and hella inconvenient. i can’t tool about in the internet on my lunch break. i can’t try on clothes when i’m bored via my laptop. BOO, old navy. shame on you. this is worse than when h&m got rid of their plus clothes and acted like broads weren’t buying the shit. *sigh*
it doesn’t matter cuz btwn the IBS & my possible gluten sensitivity, i’m finna be on kelly price status: i’ll drop crazy weight & then the only thing still huge on me will be my arse. lol.

anyway, i gotta go to work.