a few quick notes about no wedding, no womb

i wrote it on tumblr, but for those of you who don’t read me there, i thought it’d be a good idea to share my beliefs on this quote-unquote movement here. (google the whole thing, i’m not giving them any linkage)

because i tweeted it but didn’t blog it:

the whole quote-unquote movement is gender essentialist. point blank. period.

the finger wagging and shaming aside, this initiative seeks to push all MAAB (male assigned at birth) and FAAB (female assigned at birth) persons to marry one another, regardless of being self-identified as trans, or being gay or lesbian self-identified.

because of the illegality, in most states, of what’s called same-sex marriage, this initiative cannot include cisgender gay, lesbian, or bisexual (or pan or omnisexual) ppl or any trans-identified people. by its own definition, no less.

monogamy is not the default setting for all humans. it is a choice. compulsory monogamy and heterosexuality encroach on the rights of an individual to do what they wish with their bodies.

furthermore, there has been little to no discussion by the NWNW folks regarding causations of single parenthood & correlations between single motherhood & the catastrophic outcomes they seem to think are rampant in the black community.

encouraging anyone to marry for the sake of a child is dangerous. ask any one of my friends who has lived through a domestic violence situation, either as the scarred child or as the abused spouse.

& if i say shit else about this, it’ll be because someone on team finger wag has come at my neck w/ some bullshit.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Renee
    Sep 28, 2010 @ 13:20:47

    I think that you raise an excellent and point and one I completely missed when I wrote why I didn’t support this movement last week. It is absolutely heterosexist and only has one vision of what constitutes a Black woman and a Black mother. Thanks for pointing this out, I learned that I often don’t see what is staring me right in the eye because I do at time ignore my own privilege.


    • sparkle
      Sep 29, 2010 @ 01:22:06

      girl, THANK YOU for taking the time to read my blog & share your realization. & kudos to you for writing about why you aren’t part of this online-only “movement.” i don’t know any activists who aren’t out in the street spreading the word, do you? lol.


  2. omi
    Oct 25, 2010 @ 15:37:53

    amen, hallelujah…and all that good stuff.

    it’s a mess. hot mess, even. and that’s a straight black woman talking. what.


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