someone once told me i’m too attached to material things. this someone is male, black, american-born and raised, & claimed that it was absurd of me to care so much about things that were/ are mine. this person grew up w/ several siblings in a single-parent household & though i could identify w/ certain aspects of his stance, i found myself largely feeling like he never got what i was talking about when i expressed a need for what i call my creature comforts. for me to feel comfortable in an environment that i haven’t designed to my liking, i tend to do what i can to create familiarity around myself. isn’t this what most humans do? at a new job, don’t you look around to see how or if your contemporaries have their workspaces decorated? when you come into a new apartment or house, don’t you make it into what you want it to be & aim toward your ideals? creating comfort — especially in my home — makes it easier to cope w/ the many things that i feel daily (or otherwise regularly) assault me outside these walls. but maybe that doesn’t matter to anyone else. not that it necessarily has to.
in this entry, dark daughta explores what codes of conduct for oneself do in the way of creating/ maintaining sanity & safety. she says: “I’m…slowly…raising…my hands…over…my head… I don’t have a gun…a chainsaw…a hacksaw…or a knife…I’ve got words, thoughts, questions, a keyboard and a Code.”
** i know this isn’t finished. it may never be.