i’ve been tagged

by omi, so here goes nothin:

*What side of the heart do you draw first?
the vena cava.

*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
probably, but i hated diving because the bottom of the pool was a whole effing TWELVE FEET away from me. that shit makes me wildly nervous.

*What color is your phone?

*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
jonathan haagensen? shit, i don’t know. depends on if we’re tethered closely.

*Where are you right now?

*How do you feel about carrots?
fresh, steamed, or not at all

*How many chairs at the dining room table?
i don’t have a dining room

*Who is the best Spice Girl?

*Do you know what time it is?
time for me to get off the damn computer

*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
make sure i had water & some contact w/ the outside

*What’s your favorite kind of gum?

*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
false. and that’s supposed to be a declarative statement; no question mark necessary.

*Do you use words that you don’t know the meaning to?
rarely, if ever.

*Do you like to sleep?
sometimes, yes

*Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings?
i know indiana and arizona don’t.

*Do you know the song Sugar We’re Goin’ Down?

*Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
hell and no

*What’s something you’ve always wanted?
a giant afro

*Do you wear a lot of black?

*Are you an adult?
is your mom?

*Who is/are your best friends?
i don’t really have one. i haven’t claimed anyone as such since i was in high school

*Do you have a tan?
not anymore. it faded. :(

*Are you a television addict?
not in the least

*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
she cooks. i don’t. you figure it out

*Are you a sugar freak?
no but i love gummi bears

*What is your favorite movie?
don’t have one

*What’s your sign?

*Where do you wish you were right now?
in a new apartment

*Who did you copy this from?

*How do you know them?
she’s my sister, but from different biological parents…

*Would you have sex with them?
i’m not her type!

*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
my favorite trapeze dress

*Have you ever smoked anything?
lawd YES & i’m about to do that soon…

jonathan haagensen: the remix.

would you LOOK at that gloriousness? good god almighty. so what if i’m 3 years his senior? that doesn’t matter. so what if i only know how to say “bom dia” to portuguese speakers without second guessing myself or thinking i sound crazy? he can teach me the same way nettie taught celie to read in the color purple — w/ wax paper, crayons, & everyday household items. we can skip the whole oliver twist thing. i don’t like that book. i’ll read the alchemist or veronika decides to die instead. yup.

(if you’ve never seen city of god, you lose. go see it. dig him as cabeleira (‘shaggy’) & understand the gorgeousness.)

i love | i need | i want



trader joe’s pomegranate white tea. iced w/ lime juice and the right amount of turbinado or agave nectar . . . lord. just get some, please. that is, get some for me. cuz i’m gonna drink all of what i have.


the west elm storage bed. yes, lord. in chocolate, queen sized. it took me forever to decide what kind of bed i wanted . . . & i’ve found it. now i just have to order the thing, put it together, & enjoy it. (i also need new bed linen, but that’s really on some ‘go buckwild at ross or burlington’ stuff)


a new apartment. not the one pictured above — this is for illustrative purposes only. but i need a new one. i’m literally outgrowing the space i’m in, not to mention having problems with my landlord being one of these. the long term goal, of course, is a home of my own but that’s gonna take a bit longer. the immediate needs i have: 1-2 br, $650 or less per month, respectable neighborhood, proximity to public transit (the car will be procured early 2008), & good neighbors. i need lots of natural light, i don’t mind a walkup, & i think it’s important that i have fully functioning (even if older) fixtures. i just want it to be a dope space where i can entertain, live, & be happy.

so maybe this is really an i love | i need | i need post?

i still wanna bite

jonathan haagensen on the arm. good JESUS he is one fine motherfucker. he popped up in favela rising & i was like gotdammit. it’s like when you find your favorite something or another hidden away someplace… like “hey, boo, i forgot i was in love.” i mean, i’d be his official weed carrier with no qualms. well, not actually. but, i’m sayin. boy is fine. wow.

sunday morning eye candy. might be a good, regular post to have. don’t you think?

i’ve got to know why

touring the favelas of rio is some new cute tourist activity. i need to know what the deal is. is it just an issue of cheap lodging? is poverty simply so fascinating that the visitors have to go see how the other half lives not in their own nations, but in latin america? are people actually working in these communities to change them, like grupo cultural afro reggae?

i ask because i’m black. & i come from salt-of-the-earth, hard working black folks who worked hard as hell to get everything they’ve ever had — just like most of the world’s poor folks. i don’t know what it is, but i don’t see a whole lot of these same do-gooders trying to stay in the states & help folks in the hood here. i don’t. i do, however, tend to see folks with purportedly activist & altruistic leanings trying to get me to sign up for save the children while i’m on my freaking lunch break. i bristle at the mere notion that organizations like dialoguedirect are hiring young folks here & putting them to work to raise money. it bothers me that direct action doesn’t seem to be an option for folks anymore. & maybe it is; perhaps i’m not in the right circles. i could be kind of removed from the activist community by virtue of my day job. i’m not certain. maybe the widespread notion that white folk just cannot be trusted is really ingrained in my head & i have yet to shake it off.

but touring the hood? like that shit is cute? i really, really hope that’s not the case. the police maim & kill however & whomever they want to. it’s not a secret. it’s a lot harder for police here to get away with that shit. & i’m not implying that the lack of safety in favelas (or any slums, or squatter communities anywhere) should be a reason withhold help or to stay away altogether. but, let’s be for real: some of these same folks (nicknamed ‘poorists‘) are not tryna crash in or near the now-defunct cabrini-green homes when they go to chicago. they were never trying to hang around the 4th ward of new orleans. never.

some of these same folks will just gush about the humanity of the people, & the beauty, etc . . . then make a nasty face at the black kids sitting near them on the subway. come the hell on. hell, when they come teeming from gringolandia into the city where my family lives, it’s not about anything other than shopping & maybe picking up a hooker or running some drugs. but you go into a store like marti’s (btw, a white man, i believe an american, owns that store) & hear all the cooing about what’s so cute, how _____ is so authentic, and goddess knows what else. it makes me sick.

i try my damnedest not to be that woman, the one who gives kids money because they’re just so cute & it must make their day to get coins from an american. i don’t want to be the lady who loves la raza so much when i’m there but shuns the dude who’s bussing my table at vietnam palace.

i dunno. i’m rambling.
but my original question still kinda stands: what’s up w/ that?

i haven’t done this in years, literally:

friday five:

Imagine you are on your deathbed. Recommend to those who remain in your life…

1) One book to read.
~ sassafrass, cypress & indigo by ntozake shange

2) One movie to watch.
~ bus 174

3) One food to eat.
~ fresh mango.

4) One place to go.
~ the desert.

5) One life lesson to leave behind.
~ if you believe that you’re god’s child, treat others like they are, too.

hold the motherfuckin phone! (part 2)

now, i love me some amy winehouse. i do. both of her albums are in constant rotation w/ me — work, home, it doesn’t matter. i love her music. it was such a real treat to see her at the black lily concert (even though ?uestlove screwed the song up — don’t ask me how i know that; i have sources), & if i’m on a youtube kick, i’m likely to look up her videos.

but this makes me sad.

*sigh* i hate to see ppl doing this kind of shit to themselves. i mean, she told perez hilton a different story than what’s largely being reported, & if it’s true, then fine. but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be treating herself better, if possible. if homegirl’s cutting herself, that means something’s bothering her. she cancelled the north american tour, so i hope she really takes the time to get shit sorted out. one can only hope, right?

she reminds me so much of this girl i went to high school with…

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