i hate funerals

part #54890.

i don’t like the fact that i have to bury another loved one.
it’s really hard for me to sit through church services as it is — i’ve never been one to sit for hours on end while being preached to — & staring at a casket is just no shit i’m ever gonna be comfortable doing. i’m typically annoyed at funerals, because they never seem to be for or about the decedent. i can’t stand it. i don’t know what i’d prefer instead. i just . . . hate the viewings & parading past the corpse. i hate the whole process, really. i don’t know of an alternative. i only know that the ceremony of a funeral does nothing to ease my grief. & the more i think about it, the less i sense that it eases anyone’s grief at all. it’s not that i have a solution to the problem. grief can last you for the rest of your life.
i’m just sayin
i’d rather not get dressed up to have the last visual memory i have of someone be that someone in a casket, looking like a contorted, waxy version of themselves. i’d rather not watch ppl say their last goodbyes — i’ve always felt that was entirely too personal. i don’t need to see anyone kissing their parent goodbye. it’s not for me.

& i don’t know what i’ll do when it comes time to bury my mother or grandfather. i’ll have to cross that bridge when i get to it.

for now, i’ve got to get ready to say peace to monae.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. creatrix
    May 20, 2007 @ 11:57:00

    in my family, funerals are almost a staple. as a jackson, you learn how to plan a funeral at a relatively early age. ha.

    they can even be fun on some level. something hilarious happens at EVERY one.

    by the same token, we rarely lose people so young. so this is a different case.

    i pray that her journey is blessed and that she finds peace with god & the egungun. ashe.


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