messes with me.
because i never remember that i had the dream until some shit’s about to go down, or already has gone down. i can’t stand how unaware i am of my own brain & what it does. with more frequency, i’m remembering the dreams. i don’t know, though, if i’m having the dreams because my subconscious wants me to know what’s coming so i won’t be as shocked. it feels like i’m being chumped kinda. because i remember this stuff at the last second.
i dreamt the whole fiasco with _____. i TOLD him that. he thought that was a good sign. i told him i didn’t know if it was, but i also think that having dreamt about it prevented quite a bit of foolishness. i.e., i’m not sitting here blogging about having some man’s baby on the side.
i dreamt that my sister married some lil skinny, nerdy white dude. she’s currently dating a skinny, nerdy white dude & says that my dream was most likely prophetic because she feels really good about him.
it’s happening a lot more
but i just remembered dreaming that a friend of mine lost her father (or came very close to it) & that i had to try to comfort her through internet chats & text messages since we don’t live in the same city. that weighs heavily on my heart. very. i’m praying that she & her family have peace of mind & cool heads throughout the situation. but i’m also praying that the death thing wasn’t for real. i don’t know. the worst part: i don’t remember which friend it was, & i have quite a few girlfriends who live far away from me. this is harrowing. it’s almost like my ori is trying to show me some shit, but the earthly part of me is blocking. really hard, even. so i dunno what i’m doing here.
waiting, i guess, until i’m more in touch with that part of myself. so maybe i can be clearer the next time around.